Redundant

Some things in life are simply repetitive...ie every day I wake up and my hair looks like it's been through a massive wind tunnel, every morning I either tame the mane or endure looking like a victim of some terrible tornado....every morning I think, this is sooo redundant! At least give me some variety, one day the bangs could be haywire the next a few "crowning" moments, maybe a days grace in between would be smashing...but alas every day the same amt of chaos surrounds my head!
I feel that reflects some of the trials in my life...redundant. Although I don't always see the prior actions that facilitate the ending mess. Unlike knowing every night once I sleep and do the ritual turning I will have a hair "don't" in the morning. I don't always know what choices have led me to the exact same trial...or maybe if I thought about it more I do. Regardless, I have decided when a trial cycles, when it's beginning, middle and end tug at some faint memory in my dysmal memory bank (this too could be the problem ). I will pay attention. For instance right now...yet again I find myself "deathly pregnant", by that I mean, all life stops and I am quarantined to my bed/couch. And even though my life stops, I annoyingly have to watch the other people affiliated with my life going on without me...or inspite of me. Frustrating! Why do some bodies get so feeble and others do not. I have often felt angry, deflated and ANNOYED, at the fact that my stamina is not that of others! But the Lord has repeatedly given me scenarios where I have had to be okay with being the weak link in the chain, where I've had to, heaven forbid, let people help me. And let me tell you...now that I have had this redundant trial over a handful of times , that I THINK I GET IT. It has to do with the atonement. It has to do with relying on the Savior for EVERYTHING. Not just to find the keys, or to feel good before going to sleep. But for the gut-wrenching, heart-throbbing, tear-jerking moments in life where you literally want to wave the white flag and collapse. Those ones...those moments, where you want to hide from plain view and no one to pay too much attention to you. HE is asking you to let him pay attention to you and you to do the same! Hallelujah I get it...at least for today!

SOME THINGS ARE CLEARLY WORTH BEING REDUNDANT FOR...INVALUABLE LESSONS, INVALUABLE GIFTS...